


Walking from the Resting Place

by Al_99



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Juno leaves for different reasons, M/M, Post-Episode: s01e18 Juno Steel and the Final Resting Place, and peter is worried, he just lost his eye :(, jupeter, suicidal Juno, which is what i thought would happen but then it didnt so i wrote it poorly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:54:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22072105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Al_99/pseuds/Al_99
Summary: Lying next to him, I feel that way too. And suddenly, desperately, I feel something I know far too well, something I can’t shake off tonight. And so, I decide walk.
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62





	Walking from the Resting Place

**Author's Note:**

> AKA in which i thought this was what would happen immediately after so i wrote it. 
> 
> The beginning is mostly the end of 1.18 its almost copy-pasting :s.
> 
> CW: suicidal thoughts, drinking, disasociation

Nureyev falls asleep in minutes. I watch him in the dark for hours... Smell his cologne, see those sharp teeth peek past his lips as he snores. Nureyev sleeps deeply, like someone who knows the tomorrow he’s waking up to will be worth showing up for.

Lying next to him, I feel that way too. And suddenly, desperately, I feel something I know far too well, something I can’t shake off tonight. And so, I decide walk.

Hyperion City. Killer stars and runaway execs and starving kids and bad parents, old friends who made it, old friends who didn’t, smugglers, murderers, mercenaries and mad anthropologists... master thieves and Private Eyes.

I meet enough of those people in my line of work, and you start to notice something: everyone thinks they’ve got the answer, that silver laser that promises they’ll be happy forever. But no one’s ever been happy forever.

All those people chase after empty promises, running towards a thousand paradises that never were and are never going to be… no matter how bad you want it, it’s never gonna happen.

Sometimes all of it feels like too much, it’s tempting to give up and let all the other runners trample you. I’ve taken my fair share of lumps, the world has gotten a little bigger, a little meaner… and maybe I do too.

This kind of days I always find myself walking to the same place, somehow. At the rooftop of the office with a bottle of the first alcohol I’ve found. It doesn’t taste good, but it does its job tonight. Everything looks tilted. I take a moment to think of how everything used to look, not more than a couple hours ago while I chug at the bottle and let the liquid burn my throat.

_Besides, it’s not like I needed that eye, anyway. I’m sure_ _there are plenty of P.I.’s with one eye. P-one-eyes. Hell,_ _I’ll never shoot straight again, but not a big deal - it’s_ _not like sharpshooting was the basis of my entire career or_ _anything-_

The painkillers the doctor gave me as a consolation prize are wearing off and I’ve started to feel the bandage getting damper. I sit at the edge of the building, letting the railing hold my arms and head, it’s dangerously loose. I hate the feeling in my chest. Why am I sitting here anyways? Chugging some more I make a note to tell Rita to tell someone to do something about it- what the hell, why bother? It’s not my problem anyways. I let myself drop onto the concrete, legs hanging loose over the edge. I’ve never liked high places. The way my chest tightens like I’m about to plummet is far too familiar now. Looking into Nureyev’s brain felt the same, like something inside me was screaming for my body to run the other way. But hearing him scream felt like that too. And I only could think I had nowhere to run to and that I didn’t want Nureyev to scream.

Nureyev- Because of me he got hurt. Badly. And he wants me to go with him. I’m about to chug more of the liquor when I realize the bottle is empty. Fuck me. I discard the bottle and lay there, looking up, not seeing much, just hearing my own breathing and the city at night. I feel the planet turn way too fast below me and I let the self-hatred grow and grow.

I don’t know for how long I stay this way, thinking. I feel what was my eye beat inside my skull. It hurts. It hurts in a different way than when it broke. Broke? Did I fuck up my eye? Or did she do it? It’s too much of a blur to know now.

I try to get up, slowly, because my brain is fucking spinning. I catch my breath holding on the wobbly railing, considering the drop in a new way. It’s not my usual fear exactly. It’s… compelling-

“Juno!” That’s my name _,_ I think. “ _Juno_!” I can hear fear in his voice. I turn around leaning on the railing.

“Nureyev” it’s more of a sigh than a word.

“Don’t do this, Juno.” His hand is reaching out to me, but he’s scared to step closer since I’ve seen him. I’m not sure I know what he means, then I consider the drop again. The next time he speaks he’s much closer. When did he get here? “ _Juno_ ” I stand still, and it takes me a second to realize what I was trying to do. _Pink square. Next. Green star. Next. Blue circle-_ He’s turned me around and pulled me away from the ledge before I realize he’s there. “Juno, what are you doing?” He shakes me and there’s something in his voice I can’t really place.

“I- was just…” I blink and look at him. His jaw is tense.

“Why did you leave?” His voice breaks and I look up to his eyes. Ah, he’s- about to cry. “I was right there, Juno. You could have woken me up.”

I realize how hard Nureyev is holding onto my coat. I don’t know how to answer to him, my head’s feels like it’s under thick water.

“I’m sorry.” I let my head drop to his chest, stronger than I intended.

“First I thought you were just leaving-” he hugs me closer to him as I smell in deep his cologne again “Then I thought I might be late and I- I couldn’t-”

I move my head so his shoulder presses onto my bandages, it hurts less this way. “Peter, I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d- I wasn’t thinking.” More like thinking too much but I haven’t got the energy to explain. His hand is in my hair and I realize that, despite the pain and alcohol I feel okay. With him I can be okay. “I'm sorry, Peter.”

His comms beep and he grabs it up to his ear without letting me go. A loud voice comes from it. “Have ya found him Mistah? I hacked his buildings security and didn’t see him so I went to his place but Mistah Steel wasn’t there either! and you said-”

“Yes. Yes, don’t worry Rita. I got him.” Nureyev looks at me and smiles. I hear Rita rant something I decide to ignore to get a better look at his face. Those sharp teeth as he answers to whatever Rita is saying, his eyes looking into mine. And I think I can give myself another chance.

_Something wrong_? He mouths to me. I shake my head, and grab the comms from his hand, turning it off as I kiss him for the thousandth time tonight, letting my thoughts dissipate.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a first draft and it's been months since i last wrote so thanks for reading my written-in-no-time-jupeter here. :D Constructive criticism is more than welcome bc im trying to get back into writing!


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